Ep 28: Soul-led Creative Women
===
[00:00:00]
video1634326650: Put it off for years with the photography, but I found out that I was good at that years later. But the writing was also really key too. I can remember the people in my group said, you should really write about having a learning disability. I thought, oh no, that's too personal.
And I wrote some really bad poetry and there's just some things that I would not want to read today. But what I found was that writing about my disability is what helped me to be able to accept it. And it was one of the most healing things that I ever did.
Welcome to soul led creative women. A podcast for women. passionate about personal growth, seeking bold, brave ways. to navigate life's ups and downs I'm Sam Horton. And in this episode, I'm joined by Michelle Steiner. We talk about how creativity has been a huge part of Michelle's [00:01:00] journey. ~Uh, two. ~
To heal and thrive despite having an invisible disability. Enjoy. ~ ~
video1634326650: So today I have Michelle Steiner with me. Michelle lives with an invisible disability. She has many articles published in many publications and has her photographs featured in WordGathering Independent and WorkReady. She works as a paraeducator in a school with students with disabilities. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two cats.
So welcome Michelle. Hello. Oh, hello. So today we're going to be talking ~about, uh,~ all about,~ um,~ creatively embracing life with a disability. So to kick off,~ um,~ if you don't mind, are you able to share ~with you,~ with us a bit about your, your own disability? Sure, I'd be happy to. ~Um, ~I have a learning disability.
And my disability is in math. I have dyscalculia. I have limited hand dexterity [00:02:00] in both of my hands. And I also have visual perception issues. And that affects my reaction time. And I'm not able to drive because of that. Okay. And so, ~um, ~how has that impacted your life then? You know, is, is that something that you've learned to embrace?
You know, has it shaped the choices that you've made in your life? Tell us a bit about your journey. Yes. It has definitely shaped a lot of,~ um,~ choices that I've made in my life. I can remember, uh, it was right from the beginning that I had to do a whole lot of things, you know, differently. Uh, they found out I had one in kindergarten and I had to have,~ Um,~ specialty instruction and accommodations, uh, and a lot of people didn't think that I could do certain things.
I had people that thought, well, you can't go to college or you can't have the job that you want with your, uh, disability. And it wasn't that I couldn't do them. It was just, I needed to find a different way to be able to do that and to be very, uh, careful with that. When I [00:03:00] went to college, I could not take courses, uh, a course of study that involved a lot of math.
or a lot of science. Anytime I encountered that, I was going to have a lot of difficulties. So that was a lot of the choices that I had to make. I also needed to use accommodations such as having extended test time, having a test read aloud to me. ~Um, ~I did that whenever I was in school. And then in college, I also had a note taker.
And then as an adult, it's really important that I know I find different ways to be able to do things. I'm not able to use a manual can opener. So I use an electric can opener. I, my handwriting is not that great. So I type things if I want people to know what I have to say. Yeah. And also just some of the other choices that it's, it's had me make in my life.
If I'm not able because I can't drive, I need to live in a central location and so I can go places and that has shaped and a lot [00:04:00] of the things that I do. If I'm on, I've learned that I can take some pictures while I'm on my walks. And I think if I was in a car. There were so many things that I could miss, and I'd literally give the stop and smell the roses, and it's just, and I'm also been blessed with a really strong support system, too, and that has really changed a lot of my life because I have some, my husband takes me to work, my co worker takes me home at the end of the day, and I just were able to make things work out, and we're really lucky in that way.
That's great. So do you think then flipping it around, so obviously you're looking at all the positives and all the silver lining, you know, that's so, so important, isn't it? ~Um, ~flipping it around then if, if you've got struggles with say math and science, then do you feel like,~ um,~ maybe, you know, words and language, you've really embraced that a lot more and you've ~got sort of a more, um,~ like a different approach to, to those sorts of things instead, because, you know, you've got a higher concentration of appreciation for what you, you [00:05:00] can focus on, right?
Tell us a bit about your journey with that. Exactly. They found one of the things that they found out that I was really good at from a young age was reading. So I was placed in a lot more regular ed classes with reading. I even signed up for social studies because I could read really well. And my dad would read me stories every night when I was little.
And I learned to fall in love with books and reading. And I can remember I wrote a story about a dinosaur when I was in second or third grade. And my dad found that he said, this is really good. And that just encouraged me to write more stories. And I thought, well, there's something I'm good at because for a long time, I didn't think I was good at anything.
I thought school was always going to be a struggle. And so it was life. But when I had that, just that spark of encouragement that just encouraged me to write other things and to read it. And it's almost like, because I'm not that great with numbers and that other area of my brain, that the creative side just comes in [00:06:00] and it compensates for what I can't do in math.
Yeah. So do you feel like, you know, creativity has really supported you then,~ um,~ you know, in life with a disability? Yeah, definitely. Because that became my world whenever I was being bullied as a young child. And I can remember the bullying got worse when I was in high school. And I found a group right outside of our school district that was an arts group.
And I wrote for their newsletter. I also volunteered for them. And I finally found acceptance with that. I found other peers that had the same, some of them did have learning disabilities, some of them didn't, but I had that acceptance and I could shed a lot of that reputation. After I stopped hanging out with that group, I found an adult writing group.
This group got to see me, yeah, they got to see me grow as a writer and a person. Uh, 20 some years later, we still meet once a month to talk about our writing and we're in each other's lives. And I can just remember there was so much encouragement. [00:07:00] I had an older woman in the group that saw pictures that I,~ um,~ took at prom and one was of a tree at the venue and other people in my group,~ um,~ not in my group, but whenever I was in school were saying, Oh, why did you take a picture of a tree?
And this older woman said, ah, this shows perspective. Hmm. Put it off for years with the photography, but I found out that I was good at that years later. But the writing was also really key too. I can remember the people in my group said, you should really write about having a learning disability. I thought, oh no, that's too personal.
And I wrote some really bad poetry and there's just some things that I would not want to read today. But what I found was that writing about my disability is what helped me to be able to accept it. And it was one of the most healing things that I ever did. I, whenever,~ um,~ we bought our house after I got married, I can remember, I was really frustrated because I couldn't, uh, unlock our door with my [00:08:00] hand dexterity.
And I, There was a call on the mighty writing about a seemingly easy task for that's really easy for other people, but it's really hard with your disability. And I finally just got that courage and I wrote that article and it got published and I had a really good response. What that did is that encouraged me to write more articles for them and more articles for other places and, and to start my own blog.
And it just, it helps me to be able to help other people as well. Beautiful. So what I'm getting a lot.~ Um, ~you know, your creative journey has actually really helped you to connect with other people, right? Mm-Hmm, . So whether it's just connection for yourself in the beginning and now connection to support others.
So that's very powerful, isn't it? So, ~um, ~yeah. Just by sharing who you really are through your creativity, you've created this whole network of,~ um,~ of, of connection, which is so. Lovely. Yes, definitely. [00:09:00] So do you feel like,~ um,~ with these disabilities then that you're, you are able to see things that other people can't, you know, do you see the world differently through a different lens?
I do think that I can certainly see things maybe other people will miss because I will have people that will tell me you bring out the details in a flower that I would miss otherwise. And I can take a picture of a flower and I can bring those details out. And sometimes just having the eye, but other times I think it's just being able to be noticed.
And being mindful, and that really helps me a lot too. And sometimes I also put a lot of nature analogies that I think. ~Um, ~with having a disability, and I'll put them in a blog article. And then that's something I'm able to do. And I think sometimes just having the disability. Yeah, I do think that there is a part that does get me to see details and to think about things [00:10:00] in a different way.
I'm definitely not somebody that Kind of goes and just fits into a certain box or a certain category. I get that perspective sometimes from just sitting on the outside and learning to hone in and to look at other people and just think, well, why, why is life like that? Or what is that part of that disability?
And, and how can I explain that? And that's like creative thinking, right? So The challenges that you face with your disability potentially mirror, you know, the creative challenges that you face as well. Right. When, when you've got creative goals, so to speak, and you're working through those,~ um,~ it's the same process, isn't it?
Overcoming these challenges. Uh, they kind of mirror each other, you know, so that's really beautiful. So how about a lot of your,~ um,~ Your photographs are of nature. So there's a lot of nature in your work. Yeah. So how do you believe connecting with nature,~ um,~ supports,~ um,~ your life and your creative [00:11:00] endeavours?
~You know, does, how does nature affect you? ~I think nature can really affect because there's so many things that I can just relate to in nature in our natural world that there's differences and we can I get to be able to show that, uh, for example, I love to grow flowers like in our containers and I can talk about.
Well, all the flowers need something different. Yeah. I have flowers that I put on my front porch that need more shade, and if I would put, uh, begonias or on the back porch with all, with full sun, they probably wouldn't do very well. Mm-Hmm. . But I also have flowers that I, I put on the, on the back porch or back deck that have full sun.
And they do really well with that, like daisies and petunias. Those are some things that do really well. And that same thing would comes with having a disability, a learning disability. There is just certain things that I might need with my learning disability that somebody else, uh, that doesn't have one might need.
I might need extended [00:12:00] test time for things. And there's other people that might have a learning disability and they might need other assistance as well. And The thing is, we can't change the flower of having a disability, but we can, we can control the environment that it's in so the flower can thrive and grow.
Oh, so magical. That's a really beautiful way of explaining it. I love that. So you also,~ um,~ work with students with disabilities in the school setting. So how does,~ um,~ creativity,~ um, you know, in your own experiences, um,~ feature in the work that you do with those students? One of the biggest things that I have is I always try to encourage a lot of the students with disabilities to be able to kind of think outside of the box and to be able to advocate for themselves.
And I try to tell them having a disability isn't a bad thing. And we try to get. creative, maybe with thinking for solutions for them. If a student comes in sometimes and they're saying, well, I'm really struggling in this class, I try not to, I mean, I help support them the best I can, as long as it [00:13:00] doesn't involve math, because I can't do that, but.
We might think of some ways to make it work too, especially with working as a team. We might think, okay, well, the student might be struggling here. What are some ways that we can help that student? And that comes into a big way. And also just like working with the student, sometimes we might have some, uh, Issues that might come up.
I mean, they I am working with middle school age students. So they're not quite at that point yet where they're thinking so much about what they're going to do after we're just in the very beginning stages of that. But a lot of our students, they might have to do some creative thinking as they graduate.
Where do I want to go to college at? How can I make this work? And if this option doesn't work, What are some of the other choices that are out there? So I think it's big, uh, just being able to talk about choices, uh, thinking outside of the box, especially like with career goals with them, because sometimes what a lot of people run into when they have a disability is they might go to an employer and [00:14:00] sometimes the employer doesn't always understand their disability.
They don't know how to accommodate. And, And going in and asking for that kind of is a way that you have to go in with some creativity, like, okay, how do I solve this? How do I solve this issue? And like with your own journey, then, I mean, you know, you used the writing and the photography, the creative outlets to really support yourself, you know, and come to understand your disability more and heal, as you said.
So, ~um, ~do you encourage your students to find creative outlets that sort of light them up as well? How does that feature in the work that you do with A lot of my students, I will encourage them. Yeah, definitely. Cause some of them love to draw. So I can say, Oh, that's a really good drawing. And I get to encourage them with that.
And I get to see some of that work and sometimes they're their own worst critic. And I'm like, no, it's, you know, and I get to tell them, no, it's good. Sometimes writing's a big thing, but I see a lot of art. And I think sometimes that is such a healing component. [00:15:00] with having, with working with students too, is seeing, uh, where is their medium and just encouraging them and seeing that and just kind of watching them light up because somebody noticed that they are really good at something.
And I think sometimes the same with me, a lot of times students might feel like, well, I'm not doing anything right. But if you can see sometimes some creative outlets and just to be able to encourage that as a form of expression as well. Mm. Yeah. So powerful, isn't it? So,~ um, ~what does your own personal self care routine look like?
How do you look after yourself, you know, on a regular basis? I definitely, a workout is a really big part of my life. I do something little in the morning and I'll usually end my day with something, you know, more with that. I love to do that. I also love to make sure that, you know, I'm reading, I'm writing and that those are some things that help out too.
And just carving out a lot of time [00:16:00] for myself to be able to do some of those things. I know my husband and I, we also. Do a motivation over the weekends. We'll think about, uh, we call, I call them carrots. So we might go out over the weekend, like to a museum or something like that. And just to carve out that time to go to a garden or a museum and just have those opportunities, I think is really good.
Yeah, cool. And you know, what, what creative goals do you currently have? What are you working on? Sure. Well, one of the things that I'm definitely want to do is maintain my blog. I'm working on that. It's a learning disability awareness month. So I'm trying to promote some things with that. I also,~ um,~ I'm working on just, you know, writing a submitting stories off to different places as well.
I also have a disability art show that I'm getting ready to submit work to in November. And an art center. Great. So is that featuring your photographs or [00:17:00] is that art? Yes. Yeah. Photographs. Excellent. And do you, I mean, do you use the world around you for the photographs? It's all nature based, isn't it? Yeah.
Most of it is. Yes. I use the world around me, flowers, butterflies, Yeah. Beautiful. Yes. Sometimes our cats too.~ So, so inspiring. ~So for all the people out there who don't,~ um,~ start creative projects because they don't think they've got the skills or they don't think what they're going to make is going to be good enough, what, what powerful questions would you have them ask themselves today?
Well, one of the first things I would ask them is what do you enjoy doing? I think that's the big thing. If you're enjoying it and you're having fun, then that's the main thing. But if you're frustrated with it, then that may not be the thing that you may want to pursue. Also, uh, does it,~ um,~ is, does it bring you happiness, as I said before, too?
But also, I, I also think too, it's looking at it and just giving something a try. You never know until you try it. You may, so pick up a paintbrush, pick up a [00:18:00] musical instrument, try it out. I mean, you may not want to go and, uh, necessarily perform for somebody and that's okay, too. But enjoy it. Are you happy?
Are you really enjoying this process with it? And as long as you're happy with that, then that's all that matters. And if you choose to share it with the world, then that's great as well. And to just be open to things. I used to think I wasn't an artist because I couldn't draw a straight line. And I still can't draw a straight line.
But I have learned that, okay, I can make, maybe make some abstract flowers. I can do photography and also with the writing too, just not to take things so seriously. As long as you're enjoying it, you're having fun, then there really isn't a right or a wrong. Hmm. I get a real sense from you that,~ um,~ leaving a legacy is really important.
So what do you want or hope that your legacy will be? I hope that the legacy that I,~ um,~ will be is that I helped somebody else in life that they didn't [00:19:00] feel alone. I gave them the encouragement and I gave them the resources that they can go and live their life with purpose, how, how they, and have the knowledge with that as well.
Yeah. And even, you know, in the face of disability or, you know, other restrictions that they might have. So that's a really wonderful thing. Love that. How can people get to know you better, Michelle, and get a real feel for the work that you are doing? Sure, you can find me on Facebook and Instagram, and I'm also, you can find me at my blog, www.
mrsmichellesmission. com. Excellent. We'll include those links in the show notes. Yes. Thank you so much for your energy and your time today, Michelle. I loved chatting with you. Thank you. Oh, you're so welcome. Thank you for having me on the show.
Speaker 3: Start reconnecting with your inner creative magic with a powerful 10 minute meditation. ~Sacred creative space. ~[00:20:00] This meditation is designed to help you reconnect to yourself, your creativity and spark your inner wisdom by guiding you to discover your own unique and personal sacred creative space. As you tune into your intuition. Please head to Sam horton.co forward slash gift.
